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When you have uncomfortable feelings, put your hand on your chest, and say aloud, “You’re (or I’m) ____.” (e.g., angry, sad, afraid, lonely). This accepts and honors your feelings.
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Think and/or write about the cause or trigger for your feeling and what you need that will make you feel better. Meeting needs is good parenting.
If you’re angry or anxious, practice yoga or martial arts, meditation, or simple breathing exercises. Slowing your breath slows your brain and calms your nervous system. Exhale 10 times making a hissing (“sss”) sound with your tongue behind your teeth. Doing something active is also ideal for releasing anger.
Practice giving yourself comfort: Write a supportive letter to yourself,[url=http://www.huilemielolives.fr/doudounemoncler.asp]doudoune moncler[/url], expressing what an ideal parent would say. Have a warm drink. Studies show this actually elevates your mood. Swaddle your body in a blanket or sheet like a baby. This is soothing and comforting to your body.
Do something pleasurable, e.g.,[url=http://www.bessis.com/FR-jordan.html]air jordan[/url], read or watch comedy, look at beauty, walk in nature, sing or dance, create something, or stroke your skin. Pleasure releases chemicals in the brain that counterbalance pain,[url=http://www.sanvahotel.com/michaelkors.html]michael kors outlet[/url], stress, and negative emotions. Discover what pleasures you. (To read more about the neuroscience of pleasure, read my article, “The Healing Power of Pleasure”.)
Adults also need to play. This means doing something purposeless that fully engages you and is enjoyable for its own sake. The more active the better, i.e., play with your dog vs. walking him, sing or collect seashells vs. watching television. Play brings you into the pleasure of the moment. Doing something creative is a great way to play, but be cautious not to judge yourself. Remember the goal is enjoyment – not the finished product.
Practice complimenting and encouraging yourself – especially when you don’t think you’re doing enough. Notice self-judgment for what it is, and be a positive coach. Remind yourself of what you have done and allow yourself time to rest and rejuvenate.
Forgive yourself. Good parents don’t punish children for mistakes or constantly remind them, and they don’t punish willful wrongs repeatedly. Instead, learn from mistakes and make amends when necessary.
Keep commitments to yourself as you would anyone else. When you don’t, you’re in effect abandoning yourself. How would you feel if your parent repeatedly broke promises to you. Love yourself by demonstrating that you’re important enough to keep commitments to yourself.
Author's Bio:
Good parents are also reliable and protective. They keep promises and commitments, provide nourishing food and medical and dental care. They protects their child from anyone who threatens or harms him or her.
Self-Nurturing
Once grown, you still have these emotional needs. Self-love means meeting them. If fact, it’s each person’s responsibility to be his or her own parent and meet these emotional needs,[url=http://www.tuning-italia.it/woolrichoutlet.asp]woolrich outlet[/url], irrespective of whether you’re in a relationship. Of course, there are times you need support, touch, understanding, and encouragement from others. However, the more you practice self-nurturing, the better your relationships will be.
©Darlene Lancer 2013
A Word of Caution
Beware of self-judgment. Remember that feelings aren’t rational. Whatever you feel is okay and it’s okay if you don’t know why you feel the way you do. What is important is acceptance of your feelings and the positive actions you take to nurture yourself. Many people think,[url=http://www.bessis.com/monclerpascher.html]doudoune moncler pas cher[/url], “I shouldn’t be angry (sad, afraid, depressed, etc.). This may reflect judgment they received as a child. Often it’s this unconscious self-judgment that is the cause of irritability and depression. Learn how to combat self-criticism in my ebook, 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, available in online bookstores.
All of the things a good mother does, you have the superior capacity to do, for who knows better than you what are your deepest feelings and needs, if only you’d look. Here are some steps you can take:
Love
Play
Respect
Encouragement
Understanding
Acceptance
Empathy
Comfort
Reliability
Guidance
The Importance of Empathy
A child’s thoughts and feelings need to be taken seriously and listened to with respect and understanding. One way of communicating this is by mirroring or reflecting back what he or she is saying expressing. “You’re angry that it’s time to stop playing now.” Instead of judgment, “You shouldn’t be jealous of Cindy’s new friend,” a child needs acceptance and empathic understanding,[url=http://www.azurecurve.co.uk/abercrombieoutlet.html]abercrombie uk[/url], such as: “I know you’re hurt and feel left out by Cindy and her friend.” Empathy is a deeper than intellectual understanding. It’s identification at an emotional level with what the child feels and needs. Of course, it’s equally important that a parent appropriately meet those needs, including giving comfort in moments of distress.
Accurate empathy is important for children to feel understood and accepted. Otherwise, they may feel alone,[url=http://www.asauk.co.uk/barbourjackets.html]barbour sale[/url], abandoned, and not loved for who they are, but for only what their parents want to see. Many parents unwittingly harm their children by denying, ignoring, or shaming their child’s needs, actions, and expressions of thoughts or feelings. Simply saying, “How could you do that,[url=http://www.shaaciye.com/mercurialvaopor.asp]mercurial vapor[/url],” may be felt as shaming or humiliating. Responding to a child’s tears with laughter, or “That’s nothing to cry about,” or “You shouldn’t be (or ‘Don’t be’) sad,” are forms of denying and shaming a child’s natural feelings. Even parents who have sympathetic intentions, may be preoccupied or misunderstand and misattune to their child. With enough repetitions, a child learns to deny and dishonor natural feelings and needs and to believe that he or she is unloved or inadequate.
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The idea of self-love and self-nurturing baffles most people, especially codependents, who by and large, received inadequate parenting. The word “nurture” comes from the Latin nutritus, meaning to suckle and nourish. It also means to protect and foster growth. For young children, this usually falls to the mother, however, the father’s role is equally important. Both parents need to nurture children. Healthy parenting helps the grown child be his or her own best mother and father.A child must not only feel loved, but also that he or she is understood and valued by both parents as a separate, unique individual and that both parents want a relationship with him or her. Although we have many needs, I'm focusing on nurturing emotional needs.
Emotional Needs
In addition to physical nourishment, including gentle touch, care, and food,[url=http://www.bessis.com/monclerpascher.html]doudoune moncler[/url], emotional nurturing consists of meeting a child’s emotional needs. These include:
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original Peking University Chinese department director, the famous scholar Professor Wen Rumin on 1 September school report, formally joined the Institute, hired Shandong University professor level. Experts and scholars of Chinese language and literature the first award of the Shandong University.
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1. You’ll make fewer mistakes. Juggling too many balls means you are bound to drop one sooner or later, even if you are superwoman. Juggle what’s important to you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and not others.
Let us know how learning to say “No” is helping you? Where are you stuck, why is it so stinkin’ hard to do, and why is it so stinkin’ rewarding when you did? Tell us about it…..
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3. You’ll be respected. This is a big one, and is often overlooked because we tend to assume we’ll make others mad by saying no to their requests. Don’t underestimate the awe-factor that happens right before your eyes when someone realizes you are clear on your priorities AND know how to protect them at the same time. Its like a breath of fresh air.
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“Oh, it’ll just take a second.”
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By Mary Dee Freeman See all Articles by Mary Dee FreemanSee Mary Dee Freeman's Expert PageGet Updates on AbundanceGet Updates on Mary Dee Freeman Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (1 vote) Tweet The other day I was talking to one of the strongest women I know and she said Think about the title of your website. to reach your goals on this method of advertising ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with a controlled increase in users over the summer. a computer (laptop,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],140 victims each and every hour.
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This is a very common fear; I've heard it alot." Good question.
To give you an example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], After going through the process I felt much better about it and realised that the thought just didn’t register any more. When I've achieved something I experience confidence.
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Are you working on the most effective tasks? If you are trying to be in the action stage but have not completed the tasks of the stage before you may feel frustrated and discouraged It may be time to revise how fast you think you can make change so that it is a satisfying and sustainable new part of your life
The Stages of Change
Pre-contemplation - You probably don’t recognize that there is a problem People may tell you there is a problem but it’s either not important or you simply don’t agree Your Tasks: Notice that there are problems or disadvantages to the current state of affairs and that you have some role in creating the problem
Contemplation - In this stage you start to see that there is a problem You wonder if the things you do think or feel bring about the problem You start to see that choices you make lead to unwanted consequences You may believe that you can’t do anything about it but you see your role The more you define and explore the problem the more clarity you get that a solution may be possible You may develop a little more confidence that a better way is possible You are contemplating You can not skip this stage For some people it can last weeks months years and even most of one’s life You think maybe some day you’ll do something about it
Your Tasks: You are a little curious but not really serious about doing anything about it yet
Become aware of problems associated with behavior
Notice ambivalence about changing
Explore the potential to change
Develop some confidence and commitment
Considering change in the future not now
Start to focus on future not past
Decision Point: Something happens that wakes you up makes you think This is an event not a stage that helps you realize that negatives of the behavior out-weigh the positives And you are now motivated to take action
Preparation – When you arrive in the land of Preparation you clearly see that what you do think and feel causes the problem It isn’t someone else’s fault You start to see that since you are the cause you may be part of the solution too You start to develop confidence You start thinking about a plan to change IMPORTANT Notice that you are not changing anything yet But you are getting ready And like the contemplation stage you cannot skip over this stage
Tasks: You’re laying the foundation for changes that you can sustain without Herculean effort You make a plan you can live with and implement gradually a step at a time
Accept responsibility to change behavior
Evaluate and select techniques for behavior
Develop a plan made up of small manageable steps
Build confidence and commitment
Have a start date in mind for intended changes
Resolve ambivalence
Motivate yourself with pros not the cons Action – Now you have a concrete plan to make the changes that really matter to you You’ve got the support information time money and energy to change and all of a sudden it seems much more easy You’ve broken your plan into manageable steps And you take that first steps on your new improved life
Tasks: You realized you’ve changed and it wasn’t so hard after all You enjoy the benefits
Engage in self-directed change that is sustainable because it has some immediate rewards
Gain new insights and develops new skills
Consciously choose new behavior
Learn to recognize and redirect unwanted behavior
Have sustained positive changes for 3 - 6 months
Get help and support to sustain positive motivation
Maintenance - In this stage you have successfully made your changes and are enjoying the benefits You’ve had a few slips and you practice how to get back to a new improved plan that works better each time you revise it You know your danger zones and how to either avoid them or maneuver through them You have help and support when you need it The change seems to sustain itself simply because you feel better and are more happy
Tasks:
Master the ability to sustain new behavior with minimum effort as a simple part of every day life
Be alert to high-risk situations and have a plan to manage them
Focus is on lapse prevention
You have changed behavior for at least 6 months
Adopt a new self-image consistent with desired behavior and lifestyle
Feel confident and enjoy the sense of mastery
Enjoy a healthier and happier life
SoulCollage® : Another tool to speed up the change process What is SoulCollage On the surface SoulCollage is a fun collage process that anyone can do On a deeper level when you work with imagery through journaling and psychotherapy it provides you direct access to your unconscious both the wise and the shadowy parts that seldom have a clear voice in your every day lives
Everyone has parts you see and parts you don’t see You notice this when you say something brilliant that dazzles you with its clarity and insight Or it can be that slip of the tongue that makes you cringe with embarrassment as it slips past your editor
The territory between your conscious and unconscious minds may be the source of many of your problems or limitations and it may hold buried treasure In SoulCollage both the conscious and unconscious take part in card making And these collages appear simple when you look you’ll find deeper meaning when you invite the cards to speak up
SoulCollage makes it easier to find these parts listen to them and better yet use them to be more creative resourceful and think-out-side-of-the-box problem solvers
As a tool to explore the psyche we can consult the different parts of ourselves like having a council meeting SoulCollage helps us include all these parts bring them to the table and like a compassionate CEO invite them to speak up but not run the board
Using SoulCollage can speed up your progress by working with the parts of you that resists change: Shadow Material Imagine finding the culprit inside who thinks you’ll never succeed Or the part who believes changes is impossible Or the part who’s trying to solve a different concern using the “problem behavior” You may be mistaking yourself for these different points of view inside you Meeting the “story” that each card tells with compassion can accelerate your progress through the stages of change
SoulCollage can also improve your self-confidence and hope when you meet the wise and healthy parts of you Imagine meeting the One who is the engine of change ready to get to work filled with enthusiasm and confidence Yes this part still lives in you It might even be fun
Contact me to set up a consultation Suzie@suziewolfercom or 503-224-3318 Author's Bio: Contemplation Stage
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At first appearance these tips seem so natural and common place. Further articles are also available.
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At the end of the night, neither meaning nor emotions enter the equation. All of them cheated from their wives.
It has to coordinate with your dress and wedding colors so make sure your florist is aware of these details when you first meet with them.
• Attendants’ flowers: Your bridesmaid’s bouquets or posies need to coordinate with your own bouquet."
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Then when you have a list of things that do not belong to you Let them go
Let them go
Let them go
Take a breath and let it all go….
Take your shoes of walk in your own feet for a while
Take the layers of past off feel the sunshine on your skin
Give yourself a pat on the back your greatness is showing and that’s okay
Give yourself time time to grieve because letting go involves loss and loss no matter what form it takes has to be grieved for Let go breathe let go grieve let go move on
Move on what does that mean What are you meant to move on to Where are you meant to go to What does all this have to do with finding your woman spirit
Let’s go back a bit….let the noise of the outside world die away and let the voice of spirit be heard
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In regards to how and when you're going to contact her -- and the best way to set up the "next meet" -- I've got some great methods for that, They might be okay with the idea of approaching women at bars, The following are the 5 typical signs that your ex boyfriend still likes you and get involved with your life once again. Do not simply say that he likes you when the signs are present; think of the situation well. causing loss of sleep, smarter and more charming than you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Thinkiatry training can alter the course of their difficult emotional lives,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and are suffering levels of emotional distress they have never experienced in their lifetime. You decide on only involving yourself in activities that YOU want to be involved in. No wonder they look worn.
It shows up sometimes on this path of life. As you learn to love yourself, In fact.相关的主题文章:

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Aunt a happy to send it back. she secretly it to grasp to go to, but can not make you hear. not to embrace my dream in your heart. Never remember! is looking for a liar, children take the initiative to thank will be enhanced. and got timely praise.